Part 38: The price of living a life of my own

Another place, another time,

another thought, that isn't mine.

Everyday amidst a million crimes, 

trapped in an invisible cell, just like a mime.

They say I should love this life on hire,

slave to life's needs, chanting 'what may I do sire'.

No voice of my own, no dreams to follow,

just playing it safe, swimming where its shallow.

What happened I wonder, to the spirit of the free man,

the quests of an adventurer, setting sail without a plan.

What happened to waking up under a different sky each day,

greeting a total stranger by the road and asking him the way.

Our worlds seem to have shrunk, we live by a box these days,

believing all that it shows, trusting all that it says.

Our thoughts now belong to those the world calls wise,

we are too scared to think, let alone act without advice.

And yet we boast of being human, the smartest of our kind,

Sitting within our cages, no better we will ever find.

And thus we choose to live the illusion of a lie,

that life was meant to be this way, why be different, why even try!

But now I am tired of being what the world wants me to be,

I will no longer ask your permissions, I will just dare to be me.

The rules I follow will be the ones that I make,

my road, my journey, my dreams I will not forsake.

So go ahead and judge me, look at me through your crooked lens,

I am kicking down those boundaries, no more sitting on the fence.

And at the end of my journey, I know I may stand alone,

Well so be it then, if that be the price of living a life of my own!

Part 37: A festival by you

A world full of lamps,

in a time full of lights.

Darkness prevails,

not even in the nights.

And yet people fail to see a brother in need,

a glass of water to the thirsty, the hungry to feed.

So today as you step out

to light those fireworks, just wait,

Open your hearts a little,

and look beyond your gates.

Reach out to your brother

share a little joy,

Make it a festival of happiness

for every girl and boy.

And in that minute you reach out.

you' ll find a moment that’s true.

A true festival of lights

celebrated by you.

Part 36:

And sometimes it gets dark,

as I hurry across those burnt fields.

Many a dreams lie shattered there around me.

My eyes moisten with crystals of salt

as my heart now feels heavier

weighed down by the chains of sorrow.

But alas! I cannot stop here,

for my journey still lies ahead

and the horizon waits for me quite eagerly.

And so I pat on Hope my humble steed once more.

And she in turn consoles me with a soft neigh,

as she gallops now with haste

towards the end of our journey.

I can feel the wind blowing in my ear once again.

But this time he doesn't seem angry like before.

He leads us to the streams of introspection.

We halted there for a while.

Hope and I had a drink,

we knew we had a long journey ahead.

After resting for the night,

we set off once again at the break of dawn.

The road seemed clearer this time,

we came upon a fork in the road,

A choice needed to be made.

the road of What I like

or the road of What I want.

The first seemed clear,

the other seemed to dissappear into foggy forest.

And yet that was the path I chose.

no logic though here prevailed.

And thus I entered through the misty foliage.

My journey I know is far from over. . .

Part 35: I am not your riddle

Do not try to solve me

I am not your riddle Old World.

Do not try to comprehend

for my words don't belong in your present

Do not try to foresee

as my future is what will build yours.

For I, though no more than a grain of sand,

am still beyond what you will ever understand.

So do not try, and not just because you shouldn't

but rather because you can't.

How? you may ask

or even Arrogant! you may call me.

But I am just the way

I was always supposed to be.

Something that you will over see,

only to regret with much remorse

when tomorrow turns into yesterday.

And it is only then

that you will stand still and ponder

why was it that you never

recognize and understand...

the puzzle, the riddle, the person that is me.

For that day, I leave you

few words from this moment.

Remember this

An hour glass

though worth a few pennies

still holds within itself

countless lifetimes

within the sands of time.

Part 34: Don't ask me to be who I am not

You liked me for what I was,

you loved me for who I am.

But I am not me by myself,

I am me because of them.

For this is how GOD meant it to be,

and I am glad for it.

Don't ask me to be someone else,

for I know not how to be anyone but me.

I need you to trust in me today,

even more than ever before.

Please...

Part 33: I am

You don t know me

for i dont know myself

i am that differant

i am that rare

that you would seem but a mere mortal before me

and I am yet but a mortal myself

But i am still differant

not because of what I am

but because of what I am evolving into

I am what I am

you cannot ignore me

I am what you call your future,

I am for I exist

You exist for I am.

Part 32: Through the fog

In flames i seek the calm of cold water,
in the outpour of a waterfall... I long for the warmth of a flame.
Cold water is what I call my past,
while my future relates more to a flame.
Night will never be too dark for me,
and niether the sun to bright in a day.
Life will never seem short,
while death will always seem close by.
In rage I seek the answers of my self,
while in peace I feel a life incomplete,
And yet I am but an ordinary man.
And I live but still an ordinary life.
Who am I is what you don t know?
who am I is unknown to me as well?
and yet I exist,
and in what they call Life,
I do more than survive,
through my collection of moments,
They call it but a Day.
A day of what life is all about,
a day which yet is lost in the moments caught within 24 hours of time.
What I write may seem,
far from what you call reason.
But then again... your life,
is no differant from what I say.
In what there is
you seek what you wish for
and in what you want
you hope for what you can't have.
Strange you are
but then,
no strange from who I am.
And thats what makes us one,
ones who are flawed by all we do and think,
ones who yet live on to believe.
What we are is wonderful!
Hope... thus they say is a gift,
and thats what we live by.
But our egos is what we like to wear each day.
For in the poverty of our inner selfs,
we claim to rule the world around us,
and yet each day as we close our eyes,
we know who we are,
we know ... we are still,
a little less than what we see ourselves as.
We are... blind men,
wanting to guide a crowd,
hoping that each journey is through a fog.

Part 31: Missing Me

And somehow again I feel a little low,
. . . I miss you so much that I have started missing myself.
For I am not myself without you.

Part 30: I am fire... I burn

I am fire

I give light

I give warmth

I give life

And yet

I also burn…

Burn all that touches me 

As I burn myself from within.

When you are cold you will want me

And yet you will never dare come too close

Such is my gift 

Such is my curse

I will always be close to those who seek my warmth

But only to hear them say I burn!

Part 29: Why indeed?

I want to be me
I want to live
I want to love
I want to jump off the cliff of my inhibitions,
Into the river of the unknown.
I want to swim against the tide of my self restraint
I want to break free
…free from myself.

But then…
I am me
And I am living
And I do love
Moreover I am in love as well
My inhibitions are not that high any longer
The unknown doesn’t seem that intriguing anymore
Self restraints don’t hold me back like before
Freedom… hmmm now that’s quite a concept
But from myself?
I wonder why though?
I am not that bad a guy now …am I?

Come to think of it… I like myself
I like myself a lot actually.

. . .I wonder why rainbows never run out of color?

Part 28: Heroes of my land

I know a man, but not his race.

I saw him work last night.

When all was dark, there were tears and cries,

He stood up, my enemies to fight.

I know a man, but not his religion,

between bullets and my city was he.

For me to reach home and be there safe,

he stood there and bled for me.

I know a man, but not his name,

when i called, he gave me his hand.

Some call him a cop, some call him a 'jawan'

... I call him a Hero of my land.

Part 27: One wish

I live in troubled times, beyond the myst of uncertainty.

I live in days of sorrow, 

where tears seem to last an eternity.

In a land of plenty, I hear my brothers sigh!

And through the hoardings of a few,

I see the masses cry.

My neighbour sees me as a threat, he no more knows my face.

He remembers not the countless moments,

of joy from our past days.

I walk amidts a crowd of sheep, in others faults I see.

I wish to live in a world of sight,

where CHANGE begins with me.

Part 26: Disheartening

It is very disheartening when people who matter refuse to listen to reason.

REASON TO DO SO - remains unknown

Part 25: Strange

Strange place … this planet I live on

Been here ever since I remember having memory of anything

But it seems to have gotten a lot stranger off late.

I open my eyes each day now…

It seems like a different place.

I thought I was home.

I thought this was where I was from.

I thought this was what makes me who I am.

I thought…

A planet covered 75% with water

And yet has people dying of thirst

A planet that produces food so much in abundance that countries dump them into the seas

And yet has people dying of starvation

A planet where weapons are created to uphold peace,

A planet where everything has been named a price

And yet people refuse to pay back what they owe to this world.

Strange… isn’t it?

Surprisingly not… to most of the people around.

And yet… I just can’t seem to find my peace with all this.

When did I become so different?

Am I not from here?

This doesn’t seem to affect anyone else… then why me?

They can’t all be so wrong now…can they?

Maybe its just me… yes… maybe it is just me!!!

Maybe I’m just not from around here.

But then… where am I from?

And more importantly… WHO AM I?

Part 24: In Rage In Weakness

In anger I am now

In anger like fire

In anger that burns everything in sight

In anger that sees no friends

In anger that does not seem to care

In anger I Burn

And I burn also in rage

Rage like an erupting volcano

Rage that knows no bounds

Rage that sees no limitations

Rage that destroys all around

Rage that seeks no reason

At least not in the then and the now

Thus

In Rage and in anger when I exist

In Rage and in Anger I am feared

But alas

In Rage and in Anger, I am weak

It is then that I am most vulnerable

For I act then but not after thought

And I speak hence but not always what I mean

Causing more damage than existed before

For in Rage and in Anger, you control me

In Rage and in Anger I am a slave

A slave to thoughtless actions

A slave to all my weaknesses

A slave to him who enrages me

… in MY rage and anger… YOU WIN!!!

Part 23: A heart, its questions and the fears of a Common Man

What if you don’t know me
What if when you try,
What if I take off all my masks
What if that makes you cry?

What if you STILL love me
And wish to walk by my side,
What if then the storms of my life
Drag you into high tide?

What if you STILL love me
And years pass by,
What if someone then asks you
Was it worth loving this guy?

What if you then look back
What is it you would see?
Would it be worth all that precious love
Or just life’s tragedy?

What if the latter you consider
Is what I now fear?
For I’d rather be someone all alone,
Than hurt someone so dear.

(. . . to be continued)

Part 22: The boy, the journey & the old man at the top of the hill

A day by myself
As I longed to begin
I drove by to the edge of the forest
Beyond the city I now call home

I met someone that day
Beside a brook, near the hills
Unknown to me was he I thought
And yet related I felt
For there was something in his eyes that spoke
Although no words did ears hear
A t-shirt, a cap and shorts till his knees
He wore these along with a smile
Little boats of paper and leaves did he make
And set sail them through that gentle stream
A few just sank right at the start
A few a little later began to unfold
And amidst the two that still sailed
Only to one could he wave farewell
And yet in each
He found joy enough to smile
Enough to go back to the pages he had
Enough to start building his armada once again
. . . enough to make me SMILE

I moved along

Walking further I reached the foot hills
To find a winding staircase
That seemed to lead
To the top of those hills

I began to climb
It was a long walk
The stairs just never seemed to end
And yet at many places
On my way up
I found places to rest
With food when I was hungry
And water when I did thirst

I decided to rest for a while
So beside the stairs in the shade I did lie
And in my sleep this dream I saw

I had reached the top of the hill
To find a land as lush and as green
As nature in all its abundance can be
With trees of every fruit
And flowers of every kind
And amidst all this
Was a small little cottage
With an old man sitting
In its portico
Unknown to me was he I thought
And yet related I felt
For there was something in his eyes that spoke
Although no words did ears hear
He sat there carving beautiful little ships of wood
Making each one different
Each with delicate care
And the ones he completed
He placed as trophies
Above his fire place

Who are you I asked
And do you know the boy by the brook
…do you know ME?

He looked up at me
And smiled through his beard so long

I do know the boy by the brook
As I know you
As he knows you
…for He and I are YOU

He is the child that you call your PAST
That you left long ago
Who had little dreams
Who found little joys
In the world around him
Who never got disappointed
Who never gave up

Him one day you left
To climb the stairs of time
On your journey of life
A journey that you thought was long
And yet was a journey
Where you found everything you really needed
When you needed them
A journey you made alone
A journey that you call your PRESENT

As for me
I am you too
I am the you that is called your FUTURE
I wait for you at the end of your journey
In the beautiful cottage of a life well spent
Amidst the fruits that you earned through life
Building these ships of what you dreamed as a child
For now paper I use no more
For on the journey of life
I found a box of experience
Which held within it
The hammer of knowledge
And the chisel of wisdom
And with these I make those dreams come true
To place them on the mantle of my achievements
Above the warm fire of my soul

… with this I awoke
I looked up at my road
I have a journey ahead of me

... its time I move on

Part 21: the Frosted Garden

A cold wind still blows,
As the rusty old lamppost still stands,
In the garden crafted in nature’s glass,
In a heart that no one understands.

Frosted are the roses,
Frosted is the tree of the lark.
Frosted is that lonely bench,
By that frosted lake in that park

Winter here … seems to last forever,
Time out here seems to stand still.
Life amidst all this still seems to go on,
Believing that spring shall not pass by again, believing still… atleast until.

Part 20: Like the lady I loved

(its a song)

I look at the sky
its dark and stormy today.
I see strokes of a paintbrush
flashing across that black canvas
And it looks so beautiful, it feels so nice
But it disappears before I can see it twice
the storm s so like the lady I loved

Chorus:
Come winter or summer
The cold or the heat
There s no going back for me now
For from the sea to the sky
There'll always be that drop in my eye
That'll miss you
But will never call
That will care for you
That you never fall
That will remain in your past
But love you...
Love you Forever

I look at the sea
its rough and wild today
I see splashes of whats gentle
splashing across my face
And it feels so nice...so gentle and plain
but i open my eyes and the waves have gone back again
even the sea s so like the lady I loved.
(Chorus)

I walked upon the desert sand,
Its serene beauty I just couldn't understand.
And with it I felt so warm,
nothing else around me for miles.
And it felt just like how the whole world can be lost,
When someone special smiles.
But as I continued to walk along, my feet began to burn,
Oh my! Even the desert s so like the lady I loved.
(Chorus)

I walked in the snow,
So soft and so white,
Everything seemed so serene,
Atleast all that was within my sight.
I build this nice snow house with care
Just by the crystal bay,
But just as I touched it, it just melted away.
Oh my! oh my! even the snow s so like the lady I loved.
(Chorus)

Part 19: A Stranger to Today

A sip of love,
thats all that I need.
A sip of true love,
a moment of bliss
a memory of sorrow

For I've loved once
I've loved again
a time more than two
I have felt the touch
. . . and it is no mirage
and yet it isn't with me anymore

For what was mine
is what I never owned
and who I never belonged to
was just but a stranger

. . . ha!

That's love
My love
and I've walked passed it
only to keep looking behind
to see what isn't there anymore
to see what they tell me never existed

. . . if the only knew
I live in a world of dreams
I live in yesterdays and tomorrows
. . . for I am a Stranger to Today.